Summer love or emotional dependence?

>> Learning to differentiate feelings and manage them prevents suffering and helps develop self-love. Who doesn't have a summer love story to tell? They exist and can indeed become a beautiful love story, but we are also subject to fleeting feelings, those in which we enjoy the moment, do our best, and then it passes. The fact is that those who are in a relationship just want to make it work, and those who are alone continue in search of the so-called "love of their life," and up to that point, everything is fine. The problem begins when we set aside self-love and start to disrespect ourselves in pursuit of that feeling or to keep a bad relationship alive. According to psychologist Karla Cardozo, in the search for a relationship, to love and feel loved, many people end up confusing feelings with emotional dependence. What is expected when starting a relationship is the construction of a partnership, so that both grow, learn, and mature together. Sometimes, however, what should be a sharing of life becomes a relationship of complete dependence, the famous emotional dependence. "Many people also create false expectations and cling to any beginning of a relationship, suffocating the other in the eagerness to achieve a stable relationship. This dependence ends up destroying the summer love that could become a story for many years. The anxious person drives the other away from the possible experience of the relationship developing," she warned. Emotionally dependent individuals give up their lives to live the life of the other. They stop doing things they enjoy to accompany the other. And before you know it, you no longer have your own life; you live your partner's reality. The big problem is that it is common for people to confuse dependence with love, as both situations involve strong feelings and the desire to be with a certain person. Karla said that emotional dependence is the main reason people seek her out. "I receive men and women who are in unhealthy relationships, who are not happy, but do not see themselves without their partner. Relationships of true emotional dependence. Learning to find the strength to stand on your own, to be happy independent of another person, is one of the most important and brave acts we can do for ourselves," she said. "Emotional dependence in most cases comes from something experienced in childhood, in the relationship with parents, growing up in a family with many conflicts and little support for the child. It is important to identify the type of your relationship. Emotional dependence can be treated; a psychologist can identify it. The first step is to become aware of the problem, strengthen your self-esteem, and work on your self-knowledge and self-confidence in therapy sessions," Karla explained. The way a child is educated and raised will make all the difference in their behavior in adulthood; unconsciously, they acquire the desire to seek what they lacked as a way to complete their life when they reach adolescence or adulthood. It is important to heal our inner child to become strong and well-adjusted adults. Signs of Emotional Dependence Excessive care for the partner The focus of happiness is concentrated on a single person Compromised self-esteem What the partner thinks of you is what matters most Emotions are repressed Does not defend their own opinion Compulsive control The partner's desires are more important Excessive jealousy To feel good, it is necessary for there to be love from the other Feeling of denial Feeling of guilt Mood swings